I exist. That'd pretty much be it. Pictures made on Paint.NET (getpaint.net) and Apophysis 7X.
Age 29, Male
A bit of everything
As a teacher
Finland
Joined on 12/23/13
Good luck in the military, man. Hopefully, you can take solace in the fact that if you've survived this amount of military, you can definitely survive an additional lesser amount! Stay strong!
Incidentally, are you open to describe some of the horrors of the army? Or are they too terrible to put into words? :/ Just a bit curious... Sorry if I'm prying!
Yeah... Knowing that I've got only 67 days left is helping a bit. At the same time, things are getting tougher and tougher to deal with the less there's left (some mental psychological thing, probably).
Well, it's probably illegal for me to go in to detail, but I can mention a few things. Keep in mind that the most horrifying thing'll always be that you're stuck in a place with people around you all the time, you are almost never home (or somwhere else for that matter), there are thousands of dumb rules and a lot of stupid people, some of which sadly have some power over you, so you've got to keep a lot of your thoughts to yourself instead of letting them out.
Rainy days are the worst. Everything is bad on rainy days. It might be difficult to understand why rain would be so bad (I actually enjoy a reasonable amount of rain at times), but in the army, it ruins pretty much everything :P
On several occasions we've been made to walk out into freezing cold water (done push-ups below the surface or stand still), and believe me, it's getting colder here in Finland by the day :)
There's a lot of running, physical exercise (you have to do better than your best), but the worst is the mental pressure for sure.
There's a lot of waiting, only to hurry the next minute, in order to wait more... It's really pointless, most of the times :/
We spend sleepless nights in the woods at times, keeping guard against an enemy that doesn't really exist, and do stuff like that. Then at times we march, 10, 20, 30, and eventually about 100 km. It's a lot of walking, while carrying a heavy package (not to mention your weapon and other objects [different kinds] which might way 10 kg or more).
The food is not the best either, although it sure is edible :)
Those are some of the things we're doing. There's a lot more, but trust me, it's not that interesting...
Youre going to grow as a person, and who knows, that growth could reflect itself in your music. Look forward to the future bruh!
Hahha, sometimes it actually feels as though my personality is being reduced instead of expanded, and the same goes for my musical ability XD
Forced repression is seldom good :D
Anyhow, I guess I might get all that back once I get back. What happens in the army, stays in the army, just like in vegas ;)
absoluteDETH
It's nice to know that you're holding up. I've been holding in, myself. Recent stressors have cause me to be in a little bit of a mental bind as well, though probably not as bad as you. I've been venting through drawing, which is why there's been so much of it lately. I can't imagine how you've been dealing with it.
As always, stay strong.
-Deth
LucidShadowDreamer
Why hello :)
I'm sad to hear you're feelinga bit trapped :(
I hope you'll get past it, if you haven't already!
Creating stuff is always a good escape from reality, I find, whether it's done through writing, drawing or making music (and what else there is).
I'm dealing with things as best I can, although it's not fun. At all.
Thanks for the encouragement!
(I'll send you a PM about a thing soon)
//LSD